Is there such a thing as a steady lover?

The past weeks I feel so lost and alone. Torn with the thought of just giving up my search for a lover. I keep thinking that every man I am attracted and end up sleeping with, will be a one time thing. Could my perfect lover be more than just one man? Do I have to have sex with multiple men just one time to get that perfect lover?

Yes I am feeling in a rut. Does that make sense? To make up with the lack of sex. I turn to masturbating. Putting my energy into exercising. Chatting with men about sex. I have done some cybering as well. Burning up the internet and phone line with Mr X. He seems to be comforting me. And I must not forget my special guy, Opus.

With work and things going on in the home front, I haven't had a chance to write much in my blog. Just now, I have the opportunity to get a breather.