Why did I stray? How did I go about it?
A friend was having a sexless marriage. She was very unhappy and was horny but hubby didn’t give in. As for me, I haven’t been getting enough sex. My friend decided to look for a lover and that influenced me to do the same.
I began going into “married and looking” chat rooms. Most of the men there were in different states and some played mind games. Then I came across Cheri’s blog, which I could relate to. So, I signed up for married dating services. I exchanged e-mails and instant messages but nothing happened. During this time I kept thinking “Is this what I want? Can I go through with it? Does this feel right?”
What exactly was I looking for? Someone who understands and is in the same situation as myself. Basically a friend and possible intimacy later. There was one guy who I answered his e-mail and he wanted to meet at a hot tub place. He was in a hurry to get laid. Ah, no thanks! So just when I was about to give up on my search, I get an e-mail from a guy in one of the married dating services.
I thought what the heck, so I responded back. He lives near by and so meeting won’t be a problem. First we started instant messaging. We both share the same interests and situation. Both of us love our spouses and have no intentions of changing that. Thing is, we aren’t getting enough sex. Yes, we both discussed this with our spouses and well nothing has changed. End of that discussion.
After a week of conversations, we finally discussed sex in general. Then we started meeting every week for lunch. And that guy was Tigg. It’s been 4 months that we have known eachother.
2 Comments:
Scarlett,
Thanks for this post!
You wrote:
I exchanged e-mails and instant messages but nothing happened.
Tell us more: Was "nothing happened" at your volition, because the guys were all horny jerks? Not interested in the intimacy and mind-connection before sex?
Or was "nothing happened" because, despite all your efforts on the married-and-looking sites, you simply did not receive very many responses? AND, did you email the gentlemen? Or did you sit back and let the most "energetic" (horny?) of them email you?
Also, you wrote:
During this time I kept thinking “Is this what I want? Can I go through with it? Does this feel right?”
More questions:
How did you come to the realization that this is something you wanted? Did you weigh the risks and consequences, with a cold, logical eye? Did you get so frustrated at home due to the lack of sex, (or the lack of soul-to-soul communication) that you simply threw caution to the wind, and say ""Oh, the heck with it, I'll answer a few of these emails"?
Thanks!
Marathoner55, Chicago
Marathoner - I’ve chatted with the guys and we didn’t pursue it any further. Most of them were horny and just wanted to cyber. A few of them were just curious about why I’m looking for a side thing and I of them. We came to the conclusion that we were in the same boat. I did receive responses but there wasn’t any of them that I felt comfortable with. It’s like dating for the first time, there has to be a strong chemistry and connection. None of them appealed or interested me.
I did weigh the risks, consequences and the emotional effect it will have on me. And I was going to stop but then Tigg came along. At first I was nervous and scared but he understood. I don’t feel pressured by him. Most importantly, I found a friend in him and we are working on the intimacy. Only time will tell. We may end up just being friends.
Yes, you might say I did throw caution to the wind and decided to respond to his email.
scarlett =0)
Post a Comment
<< Home