Making sure all is well

I had my usual chat with "italiano amante". He greets me every morning, asking how I am doing? Tells me he has been thinking of me. Calls me sexy and beautiful. Is he trying to get some brownie points here? He says he has to go to a meeting but before he goes, he wants to hear my voice. So he calls me and we talk briefly.

I'm working away on the computer and I get an instant message from "Mr Comeback". He asks if it's okay to call? I paused and said sure. He rarely calls unless it's something serious. He just wanted to hear from my own words that I am okay. Which I am. He was a bit speechless and unsure what to say about my whole situation. Telling me that a sweet, caring and loving person doesn't deserve this. I shrugged and said what is done is done and now I have to deal with it. He met someone and they both like each other very much. They haven't taken it to the next level, meaning sex. He feels a bit awkward talking about them. I need to be able to handle this and be a friend to him. It does hurt when I hear about other people having sex, knowing that I may never have sex again. But I have to get over it and move on. He made it clear that he has no intention of bailing on me and will be there for support. I was touched by this.

Then I get an email from "JAG". He is doing good and sent hopes that I am in good spirits. His message was brief but I know he's concern and he too would not abandon me as a friend.

"Surfer" someone I mentioned briefly has been supportive as well. He has met someone and feels weird talking about his sexual romps. Again, I don't mind hearing about it.

"Darling One" is such a lover. He still know how to get my juices going and our chats always consists of a little flirting, sex talk and cybering. He has been there through my ups and downs. We know chances of us meeting in person is impossible. He calls me his "cyber lover" and friend.

"Opus" has been busy and it's been awhile since we've chatted. Not sure how he puts up with my problems and venting. But he does and just like "Darling One" these two have been there since I started writing this blog. Which is almost 2 years..wow!

New guy friend

I have been conversing with this guy from the east coast. My "italiano amante". He has such beautiful eyes. We met through my yahoo 360 page, it's like myspace. I have this "buddy list". I am up to 150 friends. And my page has been viewed over 16,000. Just about the same as this blog. I post my erotica stories which you can find in my other blog "Sexual & Sensual". He had someone on his buddy list, who is also on mine and checked out my page. We've been exchanging conversations ever since.

He seems to be smitten by me. Which I think is cute. We have developed a friendship and a little flirting as well. He was dying to hear my voice, because he has seen my pictures and thinks I one sexy, beautiful, hot cutie. NOT! So, I finally had him call me. He was so in awe with my voice. I found his voice to be sexy as well. It's not "barry white" sexy like Opus but his is a soothing sexy. When I say I have to get going, he gets all disappointed and I know he is pouting. It's tough for him to let go and I feel so sad but he knows how crazy my day has been lately.

He's been a shoulder that I can cry on and vent to. Not that I don't have enough shoulders to cry on. Darling One, Opus, Surfer "yes he is back" and Mr Comeback are the other men that I lean on. The more the merrier!

More on him later..

Sex just won't be the same

So many precautions to take. By the time it's time to do the "deed". The passion and desire is gone. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are so many things to explore and venture. Just that I have to be careful and use major protection.

I could practice abstinence and be celibate..NOT! Thinking that I will never have sex like I've had before I was infected, was devastating. It hasn't stopped me from being horny. My poor toy has been working overtime. LOL

Being able to find a partner, will be a tough task. For now, I'm in no rush. My craving and appetite has not been tamed but very much active.

It's time to focus on ME!

Should I get one for you?

I've been having such a crazy morning and haven't had a chance to be at my desk. Not being able to chat with Opus and Darling One was a rare moment. I get back to my desk and Opus sends me this link
He is such a naughty boy! But it does look delicious. ;)

The affair is over

I haven't really been able to explain the situation with JAG. The sex between us was awesome but like most affairs, they come to an end. We both decided that the affair was taking its toll and we had to end it. It doesn't change the fact that will still be friends. Nothing last forever, but our friendship still continues on.

One beer takes an effect

Not on me, I had a diet coke. I am talking about Rosie. That woman can not hold her liquor. And boy does she open up after 2 sips. Let me tell you!

We had lunch, Rosie, Wendy and myself. Rosie was sauced out. Singing loud in the restaurant, people around us staring. She started talking in slur and using the "f" word a lot. Wendy was sitting next to her and didn't pay much attention to her. I am sitting across, minding my own business as well. Once the food came in, she was okay. But still a bit drunk, she and I were making faces and goo goo eyes at eachother.

Leaving the restaurant and walking back to the office, she had to hold on to me. She softly brushed my boob. We are both laughing and these guys were looking at us. It was too funny.

Night clubbing with some friends

What was suppose to be a lot of people ended up to be a small group of friends. We meet at the restaurant, ordered some appetizers and drinks. Then it was time to clear the tables and get the dance floor ready.

Rosie was already tipsy, after drinking a few sips. My drink was much stronger than hers. People starting walking in and the dj got the music started. At first the music wasn't my taste but then it got better and we all started dancing. People bumping, grinding, touching and brushing up against me. We had to take a break from all the body sweat. There was this one guy that just kept dancing with all the women, including our group.

Everyone was dressed to attract. Boobs hanging out, tight skirts, tight jeans, high heels and tons of makeup were what the women wore. As for the men..they were freaking hot! Even the bartenders and security guards were gorgeous. Yumm-o!

Alas, no man asked me to dance or buy me a drink. I exchanged a few words with some men but only because they were squeezing through the crowd. There were some eye contacts of men glancing at me or checking me out. Hey I was checking them out as well!

I had a great time and it's been a long time since I went dancing. It was a lot of fun and I would love to do it again.

Do I still have it?

A bunch of friends and just myself are meeting at a club tonight. Last time I went to a club was 8 years ago. This is going to be a "girls night out" but a few of the women will bring their husbands.

I'm hoping to take some pictures. Rosie will be there, so this will be memorable. She may be frisky in the dance floor and smack my ass. The big question is, will men come up to me. And the other thing is what if they offer to buy me a drink? It will catch me off guard.

It will be a lot of fun. I need this time to enjoy myself, after the emotional roller coaster I had to deal with the past weeks.

Yes, I will let my hair down and dance the night away. I'll keep ya posted on what happens. TGIF..everyone!!!!

Thank goodness they didn't call security

Rosie and I were shopping for vitamins and etc. We hear a familiar voice laughing. It's on of our co-workers. She was there with 2 others and she sees us. Then she calls out to one "oh Rosie and Scarlett are you and they are checking out pregnancy tests." She was pretty loud. Rosie yells out "no we are at the condom sections checking out vibrating condoms by trojan." All three women were laughing. Everyone else around us are listening to our conversation. Rosie was not ashame to say it out loud. I am in tears laughing real hard. The one that spotted us was annoying the guy in the pharmacy and he kept staring at her. Everywhere she walked this security lady was eyeing her. It was a funny moment.

I get back to work and the woman who spotted us calls me over. You were kidding about the vibrating condom right? I said no, there is a such thing. It was the first for me to hear about it but Rosie said they do make one with a built in vibrator that stimulates the womans clit during sex.

Note: I googled it and got more info on the condom. It's a vibrating ring ring made by trojan. Hmmmm, I just may want to try one of those.

A friend sent me this joke..cute

"It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honor," testified the man charged with indecent exposure.

"Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge.

"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman, so I showed her."

I keeping thinking

That I am still 39 but in reality..I just turned "40!" I guess it is a habit. So much has happened as I turned this milestone in my life. This October marks my 2 years for my blog. Wow!

I realize that I have to live for me. I've met some wonderful people, avid readers. There are two special men that I have become close friends with. More than ever, I have had to lean on them for support, the past couple of days have been rough for me. Thank you! Opus and Darling One.

Yes, I am back but not the same person I was before.

Unexpected turn of events..

JAG and I are taking a break. Not sure if it is a temporary or permanent thing. At the moment, it is the least thing on my mind.

On a sad note, I am not sure if I will be keeping up with my blog. For now, my inspiration to write is taking a backseat.

I still plan to read my favorite blogs and MAYBE..just maybe..I will start posting again.

Feel free to send me an email to just say "hi." Take care everyone!

It's about time!

I've been feeling under the weather and wasn't in a "playful" mood.
Until now..
I was feeling relaxed and my nipple became aroused
It was sensitive to the point, if I crossed my arm over it
I get this chill through my body and suddenly I am horny
Then I start thinking about sex and all hell breaks loose!
I needed to release all this sexual tension
Laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling
I close my eyes for a moment
Imagining myself and my lover
Touching, kissing and exploring
My hand of course doing the touching and exploring on myself
I needed a visual to help me along
With the help of a porn movie, this did the trick
There was a scene where the guy is behind the woman
She is on all fours and he enters her from behind
I start thinking of JAG and I in that same position
Feeling his hand on my hips, then one hand on the small of my back
Thrusting his cock in and out of me
I turn to look at him and notice that he is looking at himself
Going in and out of my wet pussy "I take two fingers inside my pussy"
He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling how great it feels
Then he pulls me up and fucks me in an upward motion "still finger fucking my pussy, I lift up my hips"
Grabbing my breasts as they swayed "with one hand playing with my pussy, my other hand was pulling and pinching my nipple"
I reach behind me and spank his ass
He begins fucking me quicker "I'm rubbing my clit faster and quicker, getting a rhytmn"
I go back on fours and he bangs harder, sending me to orgasm heaven "rubbing my clit, then my lips and finger fucking my pussy, doing what I know will make me climax"

Getting it on

Two people are talking..
Make sure you are holding it right
Hold the "neck" in place with a secure hand
Pull that part down, slip it in and lift that part up
Then put it through the hole
It won't get in?
Wiggle and slide it a bit
Some how it's going to budge
Well push it a bit using some force, it'll go in
Are you sure you are doing it right?
YES, I am!
Finally it slides in, nice and snug
Success!
And that is the way to put a new roll of tape in the tape gun

No masturbating..what is wrong with me?

Has the urge flickered away? JAG is away on a long business trip. That could be the reason. He emails me daily. I've been stressed over dealing with some issues as well.

We were hoping to do some cybering on messenger but he's been too tired with work. The time difference doesn't work for us either. But he did write me to ask "does it sound weird of me to lick the screen as I look at your picture?" I'm like okaaay, you are a pervert. Before he left for his trip, I sent him a "ahem, personal" picture, just to remember me. That is the picture he is referring to.

I'm not in a playful mood but I do think of the great sex that we have had. I miss his kisses, touch, his cock and most importantly HIM. Just being in each other's arms and talking about stuff. I'll lie in bed, hugging my pillow and just reminiscing.

We plan to meet next week, it hasn't been set because plans can get interrupted. Both of us are patient and all good things cum to those who wait.